Highs and Lows

“I think the highest and lowest points are the important ones. Anything else is just...in between.” 
― Jim Morrison

Its amazing to come off an experience on a complete and total high to turn around and fall right into a low. That's been my past 48 hours.

Yesterday was my much talked about Half Marathon. It was amazing. I was so nervous yesterday morning, but I knew there was no turning back. I committed. I talked about it. Everyone was expecting me to do it. I wondered though. I wondered if I could. The longest run I had done was 12 miles and it was a BAD 12 miles. Completely awful. I probably walked 3 miles of it. It was a bad day 2 weeks ago and I never tried a long distance again...until yesterday.

My alarm went off at 4:45am. :( Early. The race started at 8 and I wanted to get there around 6:45. I've never done a race like this before so I really didn't know what to expect. I wanted to be sure I had enough time to get comfortable before the race started. Gary thankfully was able to come with me and my parents had kept Liam the night before. We got to Providence, parked and made our way to the convention center (where the race was starting). There were people everywhere. A full marathon was set to start 30 minutes before the half. Amazing to see all these people who chose to get up early on a Sunday morning to run either 26.2 or 13.1 miles... and think it is enjoyable. Ha!

I wont go through all the details of the race-- that would bore you to tears, but it really was amazing. I was teary at the start as I was running at a comfortable pace and just feeling the energy of 2700+ other people around me running. Literally electric!

I felt great the whole race breathing wise. My right knee started to hurt around mile 6 and never really numbed itself. I pushed through though and only took very small walking breaks in mile 11 and mile 12 (on hills). Other than that-- it was great! I finished the 13.1 miles in 2 hours, 28 minutes and 59 seconds. I had hoped to finish in less than 2 1/2 hours-- so I was successful!

Here I am with my medal-- post race. (This is my friend Kate)

I was exhausted at the end, but there is definitely a high with completing something like this. Almost like a perma- grin. It felt great to have accomplished something I put my mind to and dedicated a lot of energy to. 1, 5, 10 years ago-- I would NEVER have thought I could push myself to do a 1/2 Marathon. Never! 

This awesome high was followed by a low today. Today is the day that I have dreaded for a while. I've known today was coming for a long time. If I could have hit the pause button last night I would have and if I had my choice, we'd still be sitting on pause. Gary left today. And leaving today isn't for just a couple days or a week like the previous time. This time he will be gone for months. It sucks. Yes, we will get to see him in a few weeks. And yes, some of this time gone he will be in ports and we will get to talk. But the idea of Gary not being here, at home, with us for months is heart breaking. 

I am sad. 

I am sad for Liam. He had a rough morning. We took Gary to "the boat" this morning to drop him off. I am not sure if Liam could sense it. Not sure if he understood when we were talking to him about it. Not sure if he was just mad that we couldn't go on Daddy's boat like we had over the weekend (Yes! We got to tour the boat!!! Awesome!). He cried. He cried like I maybe have never seen him cry. Big tears. It was heart breaking. We said our good-byes and I headed to Liam's daycare. 

He cried the whole way. :( 

He has never done this before. He cried while we walked in. He cried when we got to his classroom (yes- at this point he has been crying 15 minutes). I tried to console him. It made me cry. His poor teachers-- they probably think I am crazy. I was able to mutter "Daddy left today" between my tears. I am certain they get it. I know they do. It was just a bit embarrassing to have this breakdown in public. I was crying for Liam. Not for me. For Liam and for Gary. Their bond is so strong-- it makes me so sad that they have to be apart. 

He finally stopped crying and I handed him off to one of his teachers. I am anxious to see how his day went. Figured I'd take him out for some frozen yogurt tonight as a treat. Okay... so maybe that is really for me, but he does like it too! :) 

Another busy week ahead! Lots of celebrating coming up this weekend and I cant wait!! My cousin is getting married and it is going to be a party filled weekend! Something to look forward to!!! 

For anyone who has been praying for the sailors and families of the PCU Mississippi- thank you!! Keep them coming!