The moment I was dreading since I became pregnant

Dropping Liam off at daycare the first time.  I have had anxiety about yesterday since I learned I was pregnant. I dreaded the day I was going to have to drop off my child at daycare for the first time.  Leaving him in the hands of strangers. I knew it was not going to be a happy moment for mama! Yesterday was my first day back at work, so I had that looming over my head too. 

So we got up at 6:30 and started our morning routine. I took Liam changed him and got him dressed while Gary went and took care of Tanner and got a bottle for Liam warming.  Coffee was brewing! Sat down at 7- fed Liam his bottle and watched the first half hour of the Today Show.  I feel like the morning routine could have gone faster but honestly I think I was dreading having to leave. We headed over at 7:30am.  Walked in-- only 4 kids there so far.  His two teachers-- Michelle and Mercedes were bright eyed and bushy tailed! They seemed really happy and excited to see him. That made me feel better.  When it came time to say goodbye... I didnt want to. I wanted to scoop up my little boy and take him home with me. I wanted to rewind the past 13 weeks and start all over again. Liam started fussing a bit and I could feel the emotion brewing inside me-- I knew the tears were coming.  Gary quitely said-- "Okay, time to go" and I I knew he was right. I needed to just go. So we walked out of the classroom and the water works started. Sadness...that was all I had for emotion. I was sad.

Liam's first "first day of school" picture

We headed home and I slowly started my work day. 1200+ emails to sort through-- good times! I didnt even know where to begin-- actually I still dont. Do I start from now and work backwards or start in December and work forward?? Who knows.  I willl probably never read all the emails I am supposed to read. Oh well. C'est la vie! The day went by pretty fast. Did a lot of chatting on instant messanger with my co-workers. Got up to speed on what was going on and what had gone on over the past 3 months. Nice thing is-- my boss in on vacation this week-- in France! She is completely disconnected- which is great! This gives me a full week to get settled back in before I need to really get down to business. While I was out-- I gained a new account and 2 new employees. Yikes! Sadly this means another account to travel for. :( That I am not thrilled about. I have NO idea how I am going to leave my little man for an overnight trip. I am not nervous about leaving him with Gary-- he will do a great job. I just am afraid for my seperation anxiety. I will have to deal with it-- when the time comes, but unfortuntely I am already dreading it.

We picked Liam up at 2pm yesterday and they said he had a pretty good day. They mentioned that he had fussed in the morning, but then pooped and was fine.  Nothing a good dump cant take care of apparently! :)  I think the day was a little overwhelming to him-- he came home and slept for a few hours. I think little man was exhausted! I was just so happy to see him!

Fast forward to today...drop off was much better. No tears shed! I think b/c his teachers seem so happy to see him-- it makes dropping him off so much easier. I feel like I am leaving him in great hands.  Today we forgot his bottles though (bad mommy and daddy!) so Gary had to run back with them. When he got back he said that they had Liam propped up on a boppy pillow and he was playing with an activity arch.  Said he seemed happy and content! Yeah! I hope it continues to get easier everyday.

I didnt post about it over the weekend, but on Saturday night Liam slept 9 hours straight! He slept from 7:30pm to 4:30am.  I was so excited and really hopeful that this would become the trend, but so far we havent been that lucky!  :( Last night he was up at 12:30 and 3. Ugh! I think it was partly my fault-- somehow he busted out of the swaddle.  I must not have done it tight enough.  Then with the 3am waking-- Gary wanted to change his diaper. Well, that would be fine, except Gary likes to talk to him and make faces and try to get him to laugh-- which at 3am is WAY too stimulating. He was up for a bit after that. Hopefully we get into a more consistant routine soon!

Now back to work... ugh!