2012- Whats in store??

2012 will be an interesting year. Liam is growing quick and every day I am amazed by him. He is really starting to talk up a storm. Most of the time, I really really need to pay attention to what he is trying to say and often the words "show me" come out of my mouth, but it is so fun to watch him come into his own. I am loving it every day. I am also realizing how blessed I am that he is such a good boy. He has his moments- what 2 year old doesnt, but for the most part he is such a good boy. I am one lucky lucky mama!

I got the call from Gary the other day. The call that I have been dreading. Heres how it went:
G- Hi Babe
M- Hi
G- So we got an idea of our schedule for the next year
M- Oh really? Bad?
G- Blah, blah, blah (you know I cant tell you what he said here) ;)
M- *cue tears*

I am strong. I consider myself to be strong and somewhat have my shit together. That conversation with Gary-- SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME!  :( I remember having this same conversation with Gary when he was on his last boat. I probably had the same reaction, but for a totally different reason. 6 years ago- I had that reaction because it meant I was going to be alone. He was going to be gone and I was going to be alone. Now? Now my reaction is that because I wonder- Can I do this alone? Can I be mommy AND daddy to Liam while he is gone. I am terrified of having to answer the "wheres dadda?" question. Thankfully we are not looking at huge stretches of time, but honestly, that might be worse. Coming and going and coming and going might be harder for Liam to understand. I just pray for strength that I can explain in a way he understands. I pray that I can be both mommy and daddy for him. I pray for Gary because I know how much he is going to miss Liam (and maybe me too...a little). We've been anticipating this, but now that it is here (well in a couple months)... I am scared!

This year will certainly be a rollercoaster. I am ready for the ride... I think. Who's with me? :)